


Gyoza

by Stryfe



Series: Gifts for my spouse Nethgog <3 [1]
Category: Cable and Deadpool, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Gyoza dumplings!, Gyoza!, I REGRET NOTHING, I'M NOW MARRIED TO NETHGOG, Love you Neth!, M/M, Multi, Nethgog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-07 13:17:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8802325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stryfe/pseuds/Stryfe
Summary: Wade and Stryfe make a giant Gyoza for Nathan under questionably sanitary conditions.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For Nethgog, my new spouse, lol!  
> Amazing artist who does NSFW and SFW works and commissions <3
> 
> Nethgog Tumblr: http://nethgog.tumblr.com/ ----Note, Neth's tumblr does have NSFW pieces, so you won't see them if you hide adult oriented content. Not all pieces Neth has done are NSFW though, so keep that in mind!!  
> Nethgog commission rules: http://nethgog.tumblr.com/post/127710018696/commission
> 
> Fantastic book with Spideypool and Nethgog's Cablepool story (As well as a Charles*Erik story): http://trapsgroup.tictail.com/product/lets-eat-r18-nsfw  
> (I bought the book myself and love it it to pieces. Nethgog's piece is my favorite because Cablepool!!!!)
> 
> All characters belong to their respective owners (Marvel, etc.). My stories may not be posted elsewhere or otherwise used or changed without my sole permission.

 “Wade, are you sure this is going to work?” Stryfe hesitated, staring at the snowman made of dough. It stood in the middle of the kitchen, standing a few inches taller than Stryfe’s six foot eight.

“Of course it will! I know how to cook, Stryfe, duh,” Wade giggled, shaking his body back and forth in Nathan’s blue shirt and Hello kitty boxers to the beat of the music. “♫You know I only wanted fun and you got me all fucked up on love! ♪” The meat he had sizzling in the pan smelled distinctly… salty?

Walking up to the doughman, Stryfe pressed his fingers into its face; particularly into the disturbing holes Wade had made to simulate the abominable food man having eyes. The dough was sticky and a squishy sort of firm. Closing his hands into a fist, Stryfe watched the face disappear as he pulled out with his handfuls of dough.

“Argh, nooo! My face, you have ruined it!” Stryfe whispered, grinning as he voiced the dough monster’s despair. “No, you are too mighty Stryfe! I cannot win against you… Aaaghh, I’m meeeellttiiiinnggg!”

A sudden snort caused Stryfe to look over to Wade, who had turned away from the stove to watch him. “Wow, the mighty Chaos-Bringer…how far you’ve come.” Wade grinned, waggling his hairless eyebrows at Stryfe’s antics.

“Yeah, you should have seen how much of your face was covered two nights ago. Wade,” Stryfe pointed past Wade towards the stove while crinkling his nose at the burning smell wafting towards him.

“No, the meat! I’ll get you back later, Stryfe!” Wade shrieked, turning around to quickly attend to the food. Wiping his hands on his pants left Stryfe with a slight tinge of regret. The white powder was simply too obvious on black yoga pants and shirts, damn it.

“Stryfe, make yourself useful. Roll that dough out all over the floor with your hands, completely naked,” Wade ordered. Looking over, Stryfe raised an eyebrow. Not just at the suggestion that he strip and play with sticky dough naked but at the fact that Wade was pouring an entire bottle of sake into the giant pan he was working with.

Deciding to go with it, Stryfe slipped his fingers under his shirt and pulled it off, tossing it into the hallway. After doing the same with his pants, Stryfe walked over to Wade and pressed his naked body against Wade’s.

“Hey,” Wade grinned, kissing Stryfe’s cheek.

“Mmm,” Stryfe hummed, picking up the rolling pin from the counter. Stryfe could feel his lips twitch ever so slightly as he paused for a second. Grabbing the rolling pin’s handles, Stryfe began rolling it from Wade’s stomach all the way down to his thighs, repeating the motion several times, staring at Wade’s face while he did it.

“You’re cruel to me,” Wade complained loudly, trying, and failing, to hit Stryfe’s receding figure.

“No, cruel is leaving me to take Nathan’s place in one of his diplomacy meetings while you and him run off to the beach.”

“…. Fair enough,” Wade muttered, sounding rather sad.

“Aww, Wade,” Stryfe crooned soothingly as he leaned his back against the dough, lowering him and the dough to the floor with his TK. “Don’t be sad because sad backwards is das, and das not good.”

Wade placed a hand over his mouth, giggling and snorting at the joke. “How dare you make a joke of the German language!” Wade turning around, the playful glare on his face disappearing and turning into a dropped jaw at the sight of Stryfe laying completely naked and relaxed on a pile of dough.

Smirking, and ignoring the disturbing feeling of dough touching his ass and nether regions, Stryfe crossed one leg playfully over the other to inhibit Wade’s view. Oh, if only Nate could see them now… Nate would smack the shit out of both him and Wade...

\---------

Nathan sighed as he opened his eyes to a blurry, but dark, ceiling. He could bet money that it wasn’t even close to dawn, yet here he was, wide awake now. Placing one hand over his eyes, Nathan began breathing in and out, trying to relax his body and mind into sleep once more. It was bad enough he only got a few hours of sleep most nights but Nate really didn’t need insomnia to be his one hundredth problem.

….

….

….

Ok, just need to wait a little longer. Sometimes it took a while to get back to sleep.

….

….

….

Peeking at the red digital numbers, Nathan cursed silently to himself. It was only midnight. It had been less than two hours that he’d been asleep, damn it all to hell.

….

….

….

Forty-two, forty-two, forty-two…. What the hell was he doing? Nathan needed sleep, not the answer to life itself. Forcing the thoughts out of his head, Nathan picked up his head and let it fall back onto the pillow and made himself take several deep breathes. Why couldn’t he go back to sleep? He was relaxed and tired. This should make sleeping easy, shouldn’t it?

Another couple of minutes passed by, Nathan’s mind refusing to relax itself. Well, if his body didn’t want to sleep….

“Stryfe, Wade? Are either of you awake?” Nathan asked, waiting patiently. At the lack of response from either, Nathan’s TO hand moved up his chest to caress whoever’s head came first. Upon reaching his collar one, Nathan frowned deeply. Stryfe always slept right over his heart. Did he move? Not finding Wade wasn’t a surprise, but Stryfe…

Wait a second… Nathan ran his hand all over his chest again, this time very clearly noticing the missing weight on his chest. A pang of worry hit him, and Nathan opened his eyes, completely wide awake to see the covers sliding down his chest, Stryfe’s head nowhere in sight down the length of his body. Looking to his left, Stryfe’s place on the bed was completely devoid of his brother. Glancing to the right revealed Wade to be missing as well. Both of their spots were messy, having been occupied before Nathan had gone to bed.

Running a hand over the areas revealed both to be devoid of warmth. Which meant that both of them were up to something… again. Nathan let himself drop back onto the bed, head hitting the pillow with a soft ‘whump.’ No wonder why he’d woken up and hadn’t been able to go back to sleep; both of his precious people had slipped out of bed to go do something. Probably something troublesome at that.

Remembering some of their antics, Nathan smiled fondly. They were crazy, but Wade and Stryfe were his crazy precious people. Time to go find them, even if he had to clean up a new mess. Kicking off the covers, Nathan rolled over and let his feet touch the cool floor. Taking a deep breath, Nathan stretched his arms out and yawned, standing up.

Walking out the door, Nathan closed it softly as a strange smell hit his nose. Something that smelled strangely of excessive amounts of salt and meat with… something fruity? Following the smell led him towards the kitchen, where he paused, not entering the doorway.

“Call Nate down already! He can’t eat food like this and the meat has already gotten cold. I’m cold too.” Nathan’s lip twitched at Wade’s stream of complaints which didn’t stop there. “Ugh, waiting is so boring. Stryfe, stop rolling your eyes at my pain!”

“You woke me up to come down here with you, so it’s your fault you’re bored. Let Nathan sleep, I’m pretty sure morning isn’t that far away.”

“What do you mean not that far away?!” Wade’s indignant shriek echoed past Nathan, painfully loud. “You’re already falling asleep over there! I’ve been telling you to just wake Nate up and you said you’d do it like five times already!”

“Well, my first response was no. Nate needs his sleep after all. Besides, did you see how tired he was today? Just go to sleep like that and he’ll come find us in the morning. Nate is our precious little potato after all.” Stryfe… it was actually funny how once you got to know Stryfe, he became a completely different person. No longer cold and impersonal but considerate and caring. Stryfe and Wade were actually quite alike in that respect; both had so much to give despite all they had gone through. His precious little potatoes…

Damnit, Stryfe was going to get him hooked on saying ‘potato’ as much as Wade said taco or chimichanga.

“I bet Nate will love this,” Wade remarked casually. What Nathan wouldn’t give to be able to see the scene without either of them noticing him…

“Either that or he’ll look at us like we’re fucking morons again,” Stryfe snorted, laughing. Stryfe sounded as tired as Nathan felt. Maybe he shouldn’t go along with Wade’s ridiculous schemes in the first place if he was that tired.

“No, this will really impress Nate. You remember how excited he was to try the dish at the new Asian restaurant that opened last week here on Providence!”

“Yeah, this is nothing like that. I’m positive that this is unsanitary.”

…. What did they do to make Stryfe think it was unsanitary to start with?

“Pfff, we’ve all blown each other! Not to mention last Tuesday… I miss last Tuesday so much.”

“If you hadn’t gotten Nate so irritated and behind on work, we could’ve repeated last Tuesday again.”

“Yeah, well you know wha-”

Stepping into the doorway, Nathan looked into the kitchen, eyes widening in shock at the scene:

Dough covered the entirety of the kitchen floor, all rolled out, making it smooth except for places where someone had most likely walked around after. Enough dough was left over, however, to make an excessively layered piece behind Stryfe and Wade. Finally gazing at the centerpiece, which held the idiots responsible… showed Wade and Stryfe, legs intertwined, on the left and right, both of their bodies facing the doorway. Both of them were completely naked with a trail of cooked meat mixed with other vegetables a few inches away from the front of the bodies.

Looking up and noticing Nathan standing there and staring, Stryfe spoke up, his deadly serious tone matching the look on his face:

“Wrap us tight and fine like gyoza so you can fuck us with your TO tentacles with no resistance.”

“Squeeze me!” Wade squeaked, his voice pitched to sound like a warped elmo doll.

Several long moments of silence went by before Nathan burst out laughing, unable to control the impulse. Stryfe and Wade were both grinning at him as his laughter finally slowed to a gradual stop. Smiling at both of them, with his nicest smile, Nathan opened and closed his mouth several times before finding the right words to say:

“Clean up this mess and get back to bed or I’ll fucking murder both of you.”

Turning around, Nathan began the walk back to his room leaving Stryfe and Wade in a disturbed, and rather frightened, silence.

“Hurry up or no tentacles,” Nathan called out to them without stopping. It was only after that that he began hearing Wade shriek in joy, shouting at Stryfe to clean up the mess with his TK. Stryfe’s only response was to start angrily yelling right back at Wade, stating he’d made the mess. When they started arguing, it tended to take a while for them to stop…. Well, Nathan still had his hands if nothing else.


End file.
